There’s this step entering, feeling nervous and flutter inside, don’t know what to expect. It all seems so nice looking from outside, seeing all the people entering the Ferris wheel, enjoying themselves with one another. For me, making new friends is not my cup of tea. I’m afraid to change, afraid to embrace contrary to what people see in me. Sometimes people just don’t understand what I do to mask my feelings, keeping that K-Pop continuous smile regardless of what you feel or think at that moment.

Nevertheless, I have to endure and set myself brave in making new acquaintances in a new place, making possible new memories.

Then, once you enter the Ferris wheel, sitting, you start wondering of your choices and what people think of you. Did I made a good decision beforehand on choosing new friends? Friends do stay with you forever, well most of the time. But it’s been a long time since I saw my Convent high school friends. I don’t keep in touch with them anymore and vice versa.

Have you ever heard of first impression? My dilemma all the time. People around me have this first impression of me of being unfriendly. I don’t blame them. I rarely smile in front of strangers and I only say hye to my friends whom I know and trust. First impressions in my opinion are a lie people make to make them feel good about themselves. First impressions are people’s way of being racist, direct or indirectly. Don’t trust me? Just try and think harder.

Spinning, the Ferris wheel goes up and down, relentless of what the occupants do, they keep spinning at their own speed. This is when you and I start having this friends, communicating and conversing at almost anything, sometimes about your surroundings, sometimes non-related eg your family, their family, problems, gossips and many more. Having friends is like having someone to pick you up from this hole or being in this hole together. You are never alone.

When the wheel goes up and when the wheel goes down, nobody knows. But it will keep spinning. For people like me, I just hold onto my seat and hope this will never end. When you have someone by your side, it is always better. Even in the worst of times.