But writing that, It doesn't lift off any weight that I'm carrying, but rather exemplified my failure of controlling my emotions.

In the verge of being in the one of the most stressful course, 

in the stressful first year, 

with 'friends' like them, 

in the verge of breaking down,

will I make it this time?

I don't feel like going home tonight actually. 

My fantasy now is to just run away from every people in the world and find that one that understands me, how I feel, and tell me that I will survive this,

like how I have been in high school.

Feel like calling my mum now but I hate showing her how much I failed her right now.